Battlefield

Why is it that everytime, something great happens, there's usually a bad thing that tags along. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm definitely appreciative of what I have, but then again, why is it that there is always some kind of problem that makes it...let's say...not so fantastic. For example: Hypothetically, OH YEAH we're getting hypothetical now. But anyways, hypothetically, there's a certain pet...well put it that way. And this pet, is really nice, but a little odd. He's not like any other pet, but this pet has a few "things" that are not very flattering. Obviously, this certain person, is not picky, but sometimes she has to find the right kind of pet to suit her. And what if that pet was not the right one suited for her? Is she suppose to keep it and say oh well see how it goes, but what if she doesn't enjoy its company that much? Would she still keep it? Hypothetically, this is not based on anyone in particular but personally, I don't t...

7:05pm The time everything changed. My whole world stopped spinning and I couldn't breath. Which meant that i would be dead in few short minutes. Deadly in love.! OH GOSH, that's a little TOO over dramatic. Ew! like who the fuck says that? hahhaa Anyways, lets just say. It was an interesting time of the year. Truth has spoken

Ever feel like you have another family? Or Another home? Well, that's my work for ya! Gossip, Strange Topics, Perverted Comments, Ackward Hugs, Akward Conversations, Akward Stares, Akward....i think you get my drift. Let's just say, At work, its good to be home. :)

Fine arts night at vic high was GREAT! Even though, I had like 5 cookies and a cup of coffee with lots of sugar, all that mattered was the laughter. All the zombie imitated dancing, and imitated singing, The handshakes, "NEW", Jumping over the seats, The "Hi!" to all teachers, The dancing outside in the playground, The corner of the eye looks, The "I love you's" and "Best buds", The awkardness, The interesting singing, The balls of fury, i mean fun LOL The laps around the halls, The bored faces, The funny zombie invasion improv scene, And the list goes on and on. Great night....and all i can say now is... I'm gonna fail Biology for not studying for the test.

Her head is bowed down low, her hood covering her face. Her hands gripped the end of her chair as she listened to the footsteps draw nearer and nearer. "Ex-excuse me, my queen..." Said a shaky voice.Her head slowly rose and her dark pitless eyes stared at the man cowering against the door. "What?" Her voice rang in his ears, and stilled the frozen air. "There here, my queen." He said, still frightened.She exhaled slowly, and bowed her head, hiding her face. "Bring them in." She said coldly.The man shivered, and opened the doors. The voices grew louder as they drew nearer, not knowing their demise was minutes, even seconds away. Laughter rang in her ears, and she clenched her teeth tightly from the disturbing noise. "HEY!" Quiana yelled. "Angel! Hey! What's up?" Ashley said happily. "Why is it so cold in here?" Ruby cried outloud, her teeth chattering. "Angel, what are you wearing?" Lexi said, her arms w...

One Boy, One Girl. Love Nervous Scared Anxious Confusion Anger Pain Denial Annoyance Sadness Determination Acceptance

My mind swirled and my heart beated in jagged rhythms. I knew my demise was near, but my feet dragged me on, closer to my destination. My hands clenched tightly, drops of sweat slipped down my face but my arms were too stiff to wipe them off. The door opened and there he was, standing tall. He wore all black, from head to toe, his expression was hard with a tint of amusement, like he was waiting for something...waiting for me. I gulped in fear, and breathed deeply, trying to keep calm. His dark eyes penetrated through me and sent goosebumps to rise all over my body. I wanted to run, but my legs wouldn't move. It felt like he was trapping me, keeping me there until he was finished with his dirty job. He moved closer, his steps small and careful. My jaw clenched tightly, my hands in fists ready to punch if he dared make a move on me. The man spoke, "Give me a hug sweatheart." I looked at him confused, but didn't move an inch. He smiled gently and closed the space betwee...

When I was younger I looked up at the sky and wondered about love, I never understood what love really was. Innocent & oblivious Now I know that love never lasts, never stays indestructable for too long. Oneday, there will always be a broken heart with a hammer to knock down that wall I thought was stable. So I promised myself, that love would never be spokened of, if it didn't exist. Stubborn & Sure Then I met you, and my world changed drastically. I thought about what I promised and couldn't decide whether to believe in it or not. I paced around my house a few times and layed on my bed, thinking thoughtfully to myself. I decided that you were an exception to my theory. I was on my way to believing in this so called "love". Guess I shouldn't have believed in it. All I wanted was you, but it didn't work out. I should of trusted my gut and realized that "love" is not real, "love" is just an illusion of the mind. It can fool you somet...

Get ready for another rant: If I'm a bad person, you don't like me then I'll make my own way. Go ahead and say SHIT about me and i won't give a fucking damn so shut up. Do i give a shit? FUCK no! You wanna say hatin words about me, trash me, knock me out... don't second guess what I'm capable of, cuz you'll be on the floor before you even realize what hit you. You and your ignorance, is pathetic. Are you proud of it? Are you satisfied? Well then take that satisfaction and shove it up your ass like you deserve. Oh, are you surprised of my foul language, well I'm sorry, I'm no goody two shoes all the time so maybe you can shut your ignorant mouth and keep it that way or i'll do it for you. Your so ignorant to the fact of what I'm capable of, and oneday when you piss all over the ground and slip face forward, i'll make sure there's a piece of shit ready for you right there. Can you smell it, yeah that's victory right there you son of...

Achievement can be hard, success can be hard, but failure can be easy. Winning can be difficult, losing can be simple. But its the how we hold our heads up, that proves we are stars, we are winners, and we are champions. Doesn't matter if your rich or if your poor, Doesn't matter if your black or white, tall or short, skinny or fat, What matters is the way you hold your head up, they way you keep being hopeful, they way you believe in yourself, no matter what obstacle or boundary blocks your way. Superman never stopped flying even if there was kryptonite, then why should we? We love, we share, and we hate, we dream, we believe and we cry But best of all, We hope. The sun shines brighter, the flowers bloom, the clouds disappear because we hope, we believe. The rain drops, the cloud thickens, the snow falls because we give up. So let's be hopeful, let the music take us away, I know it ain't easy, but that's ohkay Because we're Hopeful .

Cover my eyes and cover my ears, Blind me until i can't see or hear It may be true that i'm losing you So hold on and wipe all your tears Do you hear her cry? The tears of an Angel She weeps on the floor Till she doesn't cry no more The weeping and pain speaks outloud It pierces my heard and I plug my ears And i drown until i can't feel not more I can still hear her cry The tears of an Angel She walks out the door and says her goodbyes I hold on and hug her real tight She says those three words and i say them back The door slams and there she goes Can you hear her cry? The tears of an Angel

Our blood is cold, our fire is lit, yet the warmth is at the edge of our fingertips, Eyes are closed shut, hands are held tightly, lets try to hold on forever. Forever until were home, though, we know home is millions of miles away. The things that you heard, the expressions you saw, step back, and wait... The smile of bliss, the tears of desolation, the frown of indignity, step back, turn around and walk way. But what will make you stop, turn around, and walk into the arms of the rightful owner? The smell of vanilla, the warmth of the sun, the cool breeze down you neck, Wouldn't that save you, keep you alive? Help us carry the fire so we can stay together. The fire will light up the way forever. Don't close you eyes, don't be surprised. I'll save you... Help me carry the fire, we will keep it alive together.

Itchy, Red, Puffy, Painful, spreaded all over your body. What can get worse than that? Oh wait, the fact that it may last a few days or weeks!!!!! An allergic reaction, to....i have no idea what and when will it go away? I have no idea when and how did I get it, I have no idea how. Man, hives SUCK!

A broken whisper and a slammed door. 60 minutes passed. The sound of footsteps fade and then there's just silence. I can still see her big smile painted on her face to cover her broken heart. But you gotta do what you gotta do, So I'll tell you one more time before you hit that road... mama, I love you... I'm sorry ... Please don't go .

Anger runs through my veins in considerable speed. I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears that are slowly escaping through the corner of my eyes. I've never been so upset before. My face burns hot red as I control my emotions. I squeeze my temples and closed my eyes. Go to your happy place... I slowly breathe in and out very deeply. Seconds pass...minutes pass... I open my eyes. They are wet from the tears that I desperately tried to hold in. I wipe my eyes with my sleeves, leaving black marks. Damn! I shouldn't have wore mascara! I look at the time. 6:30pm. It's too late. My hands clench tightly, anger rolled uneasily in my stomach. Those fucking hags, I thought to myself. I look at the mirror and see somebody I didn't recognize. Her hair is pulled back tightly into a ponytail, just like me. Why does she look so familiar? Her eyes are red from tears but they flash pure hatred and anger. That can't be me, my eyes never look l...

I never really thought of him as something that would intrigue my life. He was just an ordinary boy that once in a while, passed me in the halls, smiled a radiant smile and spoke with a deep voice that raing in my ears. He realized that I was a singer and that must of sparked a connection because I no longer became the quiet girl in class, I became the singer. The way his eyes shot through mine with such interest and integrity caught my attention so abrupt. I looked at him curiously as the boy spoke to me. The boy had a bit of a mexican accent, but I like accents so it was a plus on my "hot-boys radar scale." He asked me a few questions but that was basically the end of our conversation since we were in class. Ever since that day, it feels like I've seen him everywhere. He appears to be almost everywhere I go...except in my bedroom ofcourse. (that was a joke!) When I enter the classroom, he still gives me that same look when he found out I was a singer, but his eyes had a...

Two choices...One heart... Her soul wanders around helplessly, figuring out what to do. She's stuck right in the middle and she has nowhere to go. Her heart tears into two while she clings on to emptiness, hoping to find some warmth in the darkness.... She finds none. Her beautiful dark wavy hair, blows around her face as she kneels on the cold beach, her hands digging into wet sand. She's been through a lot of pain and suffering, neglect and abuse, and when she thought it couldn't get any worse, her heart breaks into millions of broken shards. Slowly she stands up and walks towards the ocean. She feels the freezing water lick her feet comfortingly. Feeling invited, she walks into the ocean, the water level rising to her knees, to her waist...and finally to her neck. She shivers involuntarily, her legs grows tired as she tries to stay above water. But her conciousness tells her, that maybe letting go will feel better, she doesn't have to fight like she always did her wh...

Was there ever a time when you lost the words you had to say? Was there ever a day when someone you cared about slipped away? Did you think that this was the day when everything changed their path? And took you by shock, did i happen to fast? Are you feeling isolated, hurt and broken? Are you wondering about those feelins that always remained outspokened? Did you ever wonder why you were the next victim? Did you wonder why you were amongst the crowd and nobody picked them? Maybe it was a sign, a warning meant for you, to watch out who you pick because pain was following too. I guess i should of realized when i looked right at your eyes. They blew me away, the sparkle that I didn't recognize. I should of noticed the signs above you head, The words popping out in its bolded color red. Too bad...it's too late, i don't know what else to do. All I can say is that... I'm still in love with you.

When you look into the eyes of your own, you want to see yourself looking back at you. What if all you see is an empty blank wall? I see myself looking at the spitting image of myself and realize that we are so much not a like. How could somebody so close to you be so different? When I see myself searching for a dream I want to pursue, I end up realizing how that dream can be crushed so easily, how much it can hurt to just see it crushed infront of you and having no power to be able to stop it. You set your heart on a dream and you hope that you will atleast have somebody there to keep you on your feet, to keep you from falling down, from breaking down into pieces. What if you don't have that somebody? I don't have that somebody and I wish I did. But do you just huddle up in a corner and let misery wash over you? No you don't. You can't give up, I can't give up even though i wanna give up so bad, but i have to be strong and believe in myself when nobody believes in ...

Ever wake up from an amazing dream and wished that you slept for just a few seconds longer? Well, mine was the opposite. I woke up from a dream that i wished ended a few seconds earlier. Sometimes i look around and wish that these horrible things would go away, would leave me alone and never ever come back. I pray at night wishing they would go, not caring about anything at all. I feel numb inside, so i don't feel any pain, emotionally and physically. I mean who cares? But then i realize write at the moment, when they are close to leaving, I realize that I never wanted them to leave in the first place. My mind was so set straight on what i didn't want and never really realizing what i did want and what i needed. I thought that if they left for good, my nightmare would turn back into a dream and i would never have to face it again. I guess i was wrong...turns out it was a nightmare come true.

So here i go, writing another blog, but i decided it won't be a poem or a song i wrote. Instead it will be like an open diary, like a voiceover you hear at the end of a dramatic t.v show, or even a small talk with a guidance counselor when they try to give you helpful advice. This will be something like a reflection, thinking about the past few weeks and where i've been, the situations i've dealt with, the problems i had to face. A little bit of everything. So I'm sitting in my room, trying to figure out how to start this whole...let's call it "reflection". My mind is a blank like a white piece of paper. Yes a very poor simile, but hey...it's night-time and my mind is unfortunately a little fuzzy at the moment. Ah, i think i got it. People tend to find that as they lay in bed in the darkness waiting for their dreams to overflow their mind, they end up reflecting on "things". It's a normal part of life, not uncommon. They think about regre...

I was standing out in the rain, nowhere to go, nowhere to hide, raindrops just fall down on my face. I look down and see my reflection, I don't know who i am, Is this someone else's face covered in her hands? Tell me now if i'm going blind, cause i don't know what I see through my eyes. What am i hearing through my ears? A voice i don't recognize. I can't see where i'm going down this road, I don't know who i am, I just have this broken reflection of me. I am blind, I am deaf, I am covered in dirt, I don't know who this is, Its just a broken reflection of me. I stare at the clouds that now cover the sun, and the wind just blows me away. I don't know if i should change or just stay the same. I remember all those years, when i was free from all the hurt, something deep inside pulls me deep under. Tell me now, am i paralyzed, I can't escape even though i've tried. What do i do with these broken tears? That i can't seem to hide. But I...

The smell of an angel, so desirable, so tempting, Swiftly glides across my world in words with understanding. She walks like a pure goddess full of beauty and admiration, So light and exquisite like a dove with no affliction. She speaks in poetic words, her voice chanting in my ears, Whispering her desires and welcoming my fears. She dances around my presence, never leaving my field of vision, Waiting for me to make the movie of tempting motivation. My very hankering thirst, throbs painfully in my throat, Thrashing around so violently, while she hums every musical note. She passionately touches my hand; feeling so warm and so delicate, Causing too much perplexity, every movie is so very intricate. Now all of these absurdities will force me to walk away, Letting go of every memory; every desire that would make me stay.