Battlefield

I catch the stars with my hands, Your voice loud of commands, As I trace my hand across your back, Its mutual love that we both lack. The stars dim as time passes by, Crumpled wings of a small butterfly, Your warm embrace is what I feel, You open the wounds I try to conceal, You'll fight to death to keep me alive, Even if you won't survive You'll do anything if that's what I wanted Can't sleep at night, my mind completely haunted A kiss on the lips, a final goodbye Tears stream down your face, your eyes carry lies The stars turn black, there's no more light The air is cold, this midsummer night Take what's left of me you haven't taunted You left a footprint, that's what you wanted..

Everyday as time passes by, I realize that with each moment that I spend with you, my heart grows closer and closer  to you. You are so sweet to me and I wonder whether this was meant to be..that we were suppose to meet each other. After all, everything happens for a reason doesn't it? Months and months ago, I prayed and I prayed for God to show me the right path and to throw away anything that wouldn't be good for me. I prayed for God to help me decide on whether I should fight for you and whether I was even worth it. But here I am, and I know you are growing feelings for me but you can't come to terms with it yet. That is fine, I will give you room to think and to figure out whether you want to be with me for real this time. At some point, I can't keep doing this, we're either together or not, nothing in between. Your beautiful blue eyes I would stare at forever if I could. You make me happy, you make me smile and you make me want to be wherever you are. I ...

Never has my heart felt as heavy as it does now as tears stream from my eyes and every moment when I think of you, I cannot but help feel my heart break. It pains me to know that you are gone but reassures me to know that you died in your sleep with no pain. I wanted to see you one last time, I wanted to hug you and be happy with the time I got to spend with you. I am so thankful I was able to visit when I was 15 but sometimes I believe it wasn't enough. I miss you dearly Lolo. I wish I could have seen you more often and remembered the memories I shared with you when I was younger...but the memory fades and that is what hurts the most. Seeing that photo of you in that coffin, hurt me so much. You looked so pale, so peaceful and so happy, but I'm not happy. I wish I could have been there to see you one more time before you passed, but I know you are in good hands right now. I know you are looking down on me and I know you are proud of me. My mom always told me how much you l...