Battlefield

Wait.. Where did you go? Where have you been these past couple of years? Wait.. Don't go. Don't leave me again. Wait.. What did I miss? Why have we not spoken in months? Wait.. Please just wait for me. I'll be ready one day. Wait.. How could you do this? Did I do something wrong? Wait.. I know that feeling. I've been here before. Wait.. I know you can hear me. I know you can feel me. Wait.. I'll never forget you. You said you'd never forget me too. Wait.. I get it, you're happy now. I'm happy too..I think. Wait.. I don't want to go. I don't want to lose you. Wait.. Please come back. Please leave me your number. Wait.. Don't delete that account. I don't have any other way to contact you. Wait.. We don't have to talk like this. We can be how we were before. Wait.. I know it's been too long. I know I should have said something to make you stay. Wait.. I'm begging you. I...

Quiet moments when I'm alone, all I can think about is how sad I really am. Sad in the sense that the decisions I have made for myself and what I am letting myself go through pitiful. Sad in the sense that even being with someone you thought you would fall in love with, brings you so much loneliness. Sad in the sense that this is who I am and what I'm letting myself become. I had two terrible days where I have never felt so alone surrounded in a room full of people. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run. I wanted to break everything near me. Lastly I wanted to cry. I just wanted to cry so bad, let myself drown in my tears, let myself break and be in the most vulnerable state possible. I wanted a hand on my shoulder, I wanted his hand on my shoulder. When I turned my head to see, there was nothing. Until this day, I have moments where I think about those days and the tears flood my eyes because I never had that chance to let them go. Every part of me is cracked, leaving an ugl...