Battlefield

What am I feeling? So many words come to mine, but what I'm feeling right now is anger. And then all of a sudden, I'm feeling hurt. All of a sudden, something that I thought was special turned into dust. And something that I truly did believe in was nothing but a disguise of how alone I really am. The feelings that I have been feeling for weeks...how happy I was feeling..how oblivious I was feeling... I just feel disgusted by my actions. All of a sudden, I'm getting a swarm of attention rushing at me in blinding speed.. A friend who was using me as part of a stupid game because he lost a bet. A ex lover who moved on to better things...to a new girl. Countless friends messaging me because they are drunk and want to talk to me with an intention I don't understand. Best friends who I wish were here with me but aren't because they live in other cities. A close friend who turned her back on me and hurt me, knowing what her actions would do to me. A man who I...

I have no idea what I have gotten myself into. I feel like I don't really have that many people to talk to about, maybe because I talk about it so much. But the thing is, I need to get it off my chest. And everyday is a new day, a new memory, a new feeling... And I need to talk to someone about it before it engulfs me and I'm left there thinking what the hell is wrong with me.. What was once a crush, is turning into something more. Every time I try to deny it, I tell myself that what I'm feeling is just nothing, is just a small little thing and something I'll get over, I find myself realizing that it's not true. I find myself realizing that what I'm feeling is starting to make me forget about my past and what I used to feel for people. It's making me want to be a better person, makes me want to change my lifestyle for the better. It made me realize that change is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes to change is to finally realize that you are ca...

"Is this real?" She looked at his dark blue eyes, her hand barely touching his. "Because it feels real.." Her eyes searched his face for any sign of emotion, anything that can give away what he was feeling. He looked at her, his face stoic. It took so much effort for him to stop himself from giving anything away, from showing her how he feels. He gave the small hints, the alternative meanings, but there she stood, batting her eyes lashes, with confusion on her face. How could she not know? How could she not feel what he feels? Just by the slight touch of his fingertips... "You're a hard book to read..you know that?" She said, her hand moved away from his and it took all his will power to stop himself from grabbing her hand back and interlocking it with his. His ash blond hair ruffled by the wind, and his scent danced around her body. She took a deep breath, taking it all in, never wanting to forget. "I know I shouldn't feel what I'm...