Battlefield

All this time I was blinded by the light, By your brainwashing words, your soft sickening touch, and your disguised smile. But now were done, and over with. I don't want you back, your no good for me. Forgive my honesty, that's all I can say, but you got to go. I don't ever want you back. No more of your over rehearsed lines, of telling me the reasons why things happened, the way it did. I don't need nothing, I don't need you, or anything to do with you. Every kiss, every memory, every feeling of love that we shared, is nothing but a stranger in my mind. I won't remember a thing about us. And when if i ever see you around, and we share that glance of eye contact, Don't expect me to run into your arms saying how much I missed you. Because I don't miss you. Don't talk to me, because I no longer know you. A stranger in a body that I used to care about. You know who you are and this blog goes out to you. I'm standing strong because of what you've...

The room was cold. An icy chilly wind circled around me. Cold, so cold. I breathed out a ring of smoke, my arms wrapped tightly across my chest, shivering for warmth. Praying for someone to wander across and hold me, to keep me alive from freezing in the dark. Can anyone hear me? Is anyone out there? I would say to myself. But nobody responds. Just the echo of my own voice resonating in thin air. I was not only cold in the outside but now, all the way internally. And I close my eyes, hoping it would be alright, but I know it's not enough. As I stand alone, all I can think about is you. I'm screaming your name like a fool, at the top of my lungs. I clutch your shirt tightly, inhaling your scent. Hopeing that anybody would wander by, anyone at all. But always hopeing that "anybody" would be you.

When you have a minute, let me in and tell me something I don't know. It's like speaking to a wall, like speaking to an inanimate object. If only I knew, i wouldn't have even bothered small talk. But you've got me wrapped around your finger, and I can't help but keep myself tangled around you. I need something to rely on. And I guess your that something. Sympathy, where have you gone? When I needed you most, when I needed your comfort, when I needed that solid shoulder to cry on. Where have you gone? I need a minute, a minute of your time. Where we can talk, where you can let me in... And we can go somewhere, just the two of us, somewhere only we know. Even if it may be the end of everything.

I turn the music up, and let my untarnished soul run free. Run free away from adversity, from unbearable agony that might threaten to destroy it and make it unwholesome. How could I let anybody hurt it the way it was hurt before? So I remove every letter, every piece of poetry, and every marvelous memory that filled me with happiness and love. And all I remember is nothing now. Nothing. I don't even remember your number, I don't even remember your name. Blocked and deleted from my life. The way you wanted it. And the way I accepted it, with no tears, and no pain. I let it happen, I let us be the way we are now, because mentally, emotionally, physically, I've had enough. I scraped my knees on that road, spilled blood, sweat and tears on that godforsaken road. And now all that's left is a road block. I refuse to let anything happen to me anymore, and I refuse to let you be the one to hurt me and pain me past endurance. Because I am happy with my life. I am happy with my s...

What you want, you are, you always were. You always had my heart, But this time, you ripped it apart. What you want, you are, you always were. We took our chances, our collective hope, Thinking love would conquer all, It hit us hard, slammed into four walls With broken hearts, how do we cope? Is it your fault? I have no regrets, Just gambling bets, It is your fault. But I see a new light, and breathe in new air, A whole new world set upon me, And only the kaladeiscope colors is what I see, I will never love thee, but you can count on me to care. You...you used to hold me up, With my arms reached out, I was flying, Yet before my feet touched the ground, I was crying. No longer on that pedestal, just a broken cup. Is it my fault? Ive made mistakes. I've had heartaches, It's not my fault. Because what you want, you are, you always were.

Now all you are is a memory, once that still haunts me everyday, And at times like these, i can't breathe. I don't want to go back to how things were, Because it's just me being stubborn. But I know, deep down, I want to be your friend. Yet, a wall blocks me from reaching out for you. Just the simple thoughts, remind me of you. And I'm praying to get me out of this circle. Out of this block that is making me feel so trapped. Of course, there's still the unwanted feelings in the back of my mind. But I'll leave them there to die, because another try of us, I already know the outcome. Its the way life is. They say if you love something let it go. But we've been too strong for too long. And even if I try, I still can't be without you.