New Year
Quiet moments when I'm alone, all I can think about is how sad I really am. Sad in the sense that the decisions I have made for myself and what I am letting myself go through pitiful. Sad in the sense that even being with someone you thought you would fall in love with, brings you so much loneliness. Sad in the sense that this is who I am and what I'm letting myself become. I had two terrible days where I have never felt so alone surrounded in a room full of people. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run. I wanted to break everything near me. Lastly I wanted to cry. I just wanted to cry so bad, let myself drown in my tears, let myself break and be in the most vulnerable state possible. I wanted a hand on my shoulder, I wanted his hand on my shoulder. When I turned my head to see, there was nothing. Until this day, I have moments where I think about those days and the tears flood my eyes because I never had that chance to let them go. Every part of me is cracked, leaving an ugl...