Love comes with a price...

What am I feeling?
So many words come to mine, but what I'm feeling right now is anger.
And then all of a sudden, I'm feeling hurt.
All of a sudden, something that I thought was special turned into dust.
And something that I truly did believe in was nothing but a disguise of how alone I really am.
The feelings that I have been feeling for weeks...how happy I was feeling..how oblivious I was feeling...
I just feel disgusted by my actions.
All of a sudden, I'm getting a swarm of attention rushing at me in blinding speed..
A friend who was using me as part of a stupid game because he lost a bet.
A ex lover who moved on to better things...to a new girl.
Countless friends messaging me because they are drunk and want to talk to me with an intention I don't understand.
Best friends who I wish were here with me but aren't because they live in other cities.
A close friend who turned her back on me and hurt me, knowing what her actions would do to me.
A man who I felt strongly for, but having the realization of knowing I don't stand a chance.
I let myself feel countless emotions over the past week.
Sometimes I feel like I'm suffocating, but I try to breathe regardless of how much it hurts.
I have no escape,
And as I write countless music, type stupid words that mean nothing.
I realize that I'm alone.
I feel so angry and I'm so sick of you. I didn't realize I'd be in this kind of situation, yet I am.
I forgot that love comes with a price.
I'm so sick of you, but most of all,
I'm so sick of trying to believe in paradise.
I'm so sick of you telling all these lies.
I'm so sick of you hiding, who are you trying to disguise?
I'm so sick of you.
And most of all..
I'm so fucking sick of myself.


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