Effort

How should I feel when someone you love says that it takes effort for them to be happy?

Immediately I think it takes effort to be happy with me? But he responds with no....in general..life. It takes effort to be happy in life.

Even though it's not directed at me, I still feel hurt. I feel hurt because for me, being in love and happy is effortless. It makes me wonder if he really is happy with me and if he was effortlessly happy and in love with me, he wouldn't have said that.

I know I'm reading into it too much, but how would it make you feel to know that your partner needs effort to be happy with you...with life.

Maybe the way I see the world is different. Maybe I'm too positive. Maybe my thoughts on life are wrong.

I always thought when you are truly happy, life is easy, life is good, life is effortless. But to hear that life isn't easy for your partner, it makes me wonder whether he is with the right person.

I don't make life easy for him. I don't make love and happiness effortless for him.

That's what really hurts. It hurts to hear it.

Maybe my mind is playing games on me. But I don't think he realizes that for me, it's always been effortless with him. He's always made me feel effortlessly happy and in love. Even with the bad fights and the tears, being with him was always easy for me. Maybe he felt differently.

I won't change my views on love, on life, on happiness. I know it is true. I know you can be happy without it taking mental and physical energy.

I refuse to stop living, to stop dreaming, to stop believing in effortless love.

I will always have hope...because that's all I have to keep me sane.


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