A Fool

Sometimes I don't know what I'm feeling.
One minute I'm feeling sentimental, the next minute I'm feeling confused.
I don't know what else to do, what else to feel, what to even do with these feelings in the first place.
What I need is an escape, and perhaps this is my escape...spilling my heart onto this page.
Months ago...I didn't even know you existed, months ago you were nothing but another simple man..like the rest of them.
My eyes were locked on another, my heart was set on another, and I remember seeing that smile of yours and thinking to myself, "He has a beautiful smile".
But that didn't change anything, you blended in with the rest and my heart was content.
Suddenly, I found myself drifting off, my eyes wandering to your direction.
But I dismissed any sort of feelings that arose.
Why did you do this to me? Why did you start messaging me?
What did you want from me?
Maybe you were just lonely, needed someone to talk to, needed some girls to play with...
I'm a fool to ever believe that something could happen between us.
I'm a fool for love, a fool for kindness, a fool for guys like you..guys that appear kind and gentle and happy but are deep down broken inside.
Tell me what you need to put your heart at ease, and I will be there to give you a helping hand,
as a friend..as an acquaintance..whatever you need.
I may be a fool, but I have a heart.
And this heart is compassionate and caring and sometimes abused.
But I keep myself strong, I bite back the pain that threatens to break me.
Because I am not broken, I'm just an open wound, waiting to heal.
I'm not going to play with your games, and if that's what you're trying to do,
then I was wrong about you and I guess I'll have to second guess my stupidity.
Don't let me be wrong about you.
Because in the end, if I'm the one that gets hurt,
the only person that I can possibly blame...
is myself.
And then you can finally say that I am nothing but broken.

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